Day 11 - Sunday 20th September 2015

Written by Kev

I’m awake at 7.00am, but Tam is still snoozing, so I go and sit in the bathroom and catch up on my trip report. It’s a glamorous job this trip reporting lark. I bet you thought it was all fast cars and beautiful women – or is that beautiful cars and fast women? Anyway, it turns out to be sitting on a toilet at 7.00am trying to remember what we did the day before.
Tam wakes and we go down to breakfast at 9.00am. This morning the ladies have been making pancakes, banana pancakes, bacon and maple syrup. There is also cereal, cookies and a huge box of doughnuts. I think it’s pretty much certain that we are all going home several pounds heavier.
The conversation is varied, but at one point we have to choose which film star we would like to play us. I plump for Johnny Depp before Matt can because the ladies have been swooning over him for most of the breakfast debate. It’s been a regular Depp-fest. Deb chooses Sandra Bullock, Shelly is going to be Catherine Zeta-Jones and Susan picks Ann Margret. Sally abstains. Matt goes for George Clooney and I ask him if he’s not getting confused with George Formby. It appears I am mistaken.

Around midday we all jump in The Beast and I drive to the marina in Beaver’s Bend State Park where we rent a 15 seater pontoon boat. It’s much cooler today, around 70°F as we leave the marina and head out into the lake. Now, this is no small lake. Sally has checked out Google and tells us that there is 180 miles of shoreline around this baby.

I’m driving the boat, so that automatically makes me Captain Jack Sparrow. That’s twice today I’ve been Johnny Depp, I’m liking it. It’s breezy on the lake and so feels a little chilly. I give Shelly my sweater as she’s feeling cold. She tells me it will look strange on me next time I wear it as it will have a couple of lumps where mens sweaters don’t normally have lumps.
It’s worse for Gabi though, as Deb loans her orange sweater. If you know anything about college football you’ll know that orange is the colour of Oklahoma State and not to be worn if you are an Oklahoma University fan. Comfort overcomes loyalty to the team and Gabi looks very fetching in her orange sweater. She’ll hate that.

We ride around in our boat for an hour or so, taking turns driving, but then it starts to rain. Although we have a 15-seater pontoon boat with only 9 people in it, only the back section is covered. All 9 of us have to take cover with some sitting on the floor. This might sound like not a lot of fun, but it is actually the opposite as the rain can’t dampen our spirits and the ladies are on top form.

We eventually make it back to the marina relatively unscathed, where my expert nautical skills are applauded as I bring the boat safely into dock.
Susan and Sally insist on paying for our trip onto the lake despite objections from the rest of us. These women from Oklahoma are a stubborn lot. Stubborn and incredibly generous – thanks again ladies.

As it’s still raining, Matt and I run to the car and I reverse it on to the slipway as close to the dock as possible in order to prevent the ladies from getting too wet. They all jump into The Beast and I drive off. At least I would if I had the car in ‘Drive’. It’s still in reverse and moves backwards down the slipway towards the water. The ladies scream and I stop and select ‘Drive’ before moving forward. A large amount of laughter and teasing follows. I don’t know what they were so scared of; I stopped a good 18 inches from the water. The Beast has a little chuckle too, the cad.
I put in this little anecdote because Shelly bet me that I wouldn’t. I told her that I usually leave out anything detrimental to me, choosing only to portray myself as the handsome, intelligent man I truly am. She doesn’t believe this either.

Back to the log cabin where Sally, Shelly, Gabi and Susan are leaving us to return home to Tulsa and Muskogee. There are hugs all round and a few tears too. It’s been a pleasure to meet all of them and we’ve had some really fun times. A special thank you to Susan for looking after us for 5 days and showing us the sights of Oklahoma.
As they get into Sally’s car I shout out to her to make sure she has the car in ‘Drive’. Sally immediately pulls off backwards to much laughter from all around. Oh yes, very clever. Off she drives down the road, blasting the horn along the way.
Deb, Matt, me and Tam go back inside and decide the only way to get over the sadness at their departure is to jump in the hot tub with a large margarita. I use the last of the tequila and we sit in the hot water in the rain chatting and drinking.

After showering we reassemble in the lounge all freshly clean. For some strange reason there is a fully decorated plastic Christmas tree in a cupboard that caused some amusement while the ladies were here. So we drag it out to take photos to send to them, just for the fun of it. It’s surprising what you find amusing after a large margarita.

Food is next and we raid the fridge to use up whatever is left. This includes a large portion of the pulled pork from two days ago. Considering it’s a meal of leftovers, it is very palatable indeed.
After eating Tam and I go outside to start a fire as it’s just about stopped raining. We only have cardboard to get it going and much of the wood is damp, but it starts soon enough and we soon have a really good blaze, Deb reckons it’s the best one we’ve had.

I can’t remember how it comes about, but I decide we should recite limericks and I deliver the only two I know. They are a little risqué and so cannot be recounted here, suffice to say one of them begins ‘There was a young lady from Ealing’. My skill in the poetry department is met with stony silence from the other three. Heathens. However, Deb reckons we should make up our own. If I thought my efforts required censoring, this takes it to a whole new level. The one beginning ‘There was a young man called Matt’ would make a docker blush.
We sit around the fire for as long as possible, reluctant to leave as this is our final night and I think we’ll all miss the star filled skies and the sounds of the crickets.
Eventually we move back indoors where Matt and I watch Seattle Seahawks v Green Bay Packers whilst finishing up the last two bottles of beer in the fridge. The food and drink levels have been judged very well as there is little of either left other than a cupboard full of snacks.

Matt does an admirable job of trying to use up all the remaining alcohol by making a new concoction of Triple Sec, Coke and lime juice. A sort of Matty Libre. Let’s just say you won’t be seeing it on any cocktail list soon.
The Packers win and I retire to bed at 11.00pm a happy man.